blissful & blessed

For the first time in a long time..i can say i am truly happy with how my life is turning out. I know God has given me many challenges and obstacles, but nothing is ever too much with him by my side. I've experienced the worst..& now i am even more grateful,thankful& fortunate for everything & everyone*

withlove,ba

Round 3..over & done with. This time around..it was harder for me..just because i feel so helpless & it doesn't help that i have no source of fun..Just lying there waiting for the medicine to finish..is really hard. It literally is driving me insane thinking about it.. The second worst thing..is getting flushed! i hate that as much as taking pills or waiting (those who know me--know i cant take pills..)
Well getting flushed is like taking medicine but through the IV & its not really medicine..its just to clean the vein--make sure its not clotted up. A flush is just normal saline..but no matter where i get it through my port on my chest or through a regular iv on my arm..for some reason..i can smell it & taste it..its horrible..i feel like throwing up everytime..

Okay..enough about my storm. There were several storms back to back in the LA county..parts of glendale had to evacute..but not us. We are safe..it seems those storms have passed as well.

Cambria updates: she is still full of energy..& silly & funny as she always is.

withlove, ba

weekend!

Why when we know we have to fast its so much harder? But usually..i never even eat after midnight? haha. its a mental thing, i guess. Well tomorrow i get my full body scan to see if the cancer has spread..or if the chemo is working i guess? Wish me luck!

I am excited for this weekend..after my scan, my friend from saipan who I've known since i was in the 5th grade & spent almost everyday with for about 3 years who I haven't seen since 8th grade which was like 6 to 7 years is coming to pick me up & we are going to catch up. I am so so excited!!! I remember always going to subway with her after school, or go to her house & make s'mores just waiting to go to swim practice. Or hotel nights at royal orchid on Guam or going to the mall in our oversized SSC (saipan swim club) tees & our bathing suits just underneath right after we finished a meet. Aah..the good ol days..when i had no worries.. I think when Cambria turns 4 or 5 i'll put her to swim practice..& even if she doesnt love it as i did or decided to swim professional..i think living on an island you must know how to swim..its only practical..dont you think?

Saturday..we are going to head over to my cousin Donna's house & my other cousins from Vegas will be coming over too. So i cant wait for that as well..this weekend will be enjoyable!

Cambria is yelling at me right now..so i have to get off!

with love, ba

sad..

Just watching all the videos on voice of Guam on youtube..check it out :
http://www.youtube.com/user/voiceofguam

I really wish i was there to listen, support & educate myself more on the issue of the military build-up on Guam.

yesterday was eventful. My nina who i haven't seen since i was in the 3rd grade came for a visit with my godbrother & sister..who i met for the first time. Cambria had fun playing with my godbrother..i bet she misses her daycare & all her friends already.

This morning i woke up with cambria talking and talking..though i didnt understand a word she was saying it was great. She just kept on going like she was having an actual conversation. Listening to "raining jane"..its so soothing , i like it very much..you should listen to it. Thats all for now.

with love, ba

round two over & done

what was suppose to be a two day stay at the hospital..ended up being a 4 day stay..eer! so irritated.. three nurses on the first day couldn't access the vap(port) so they had to give me chemo through my arm again..the second day the surgeon came by to access the port himself..there wasn't any blood return so they needed to get an xray on it to see if the port was working properly..it was but no blood return..so i am thinking i'll still be getting poked for blood from now on & either way getting it through my vap or arm i still think it sucks.

so round two..over & down with..10 more to go. (not looking forward to it.ugh)

with love, BA

cambria's update & 2nd dose

Cambria is still very active more now then ever. She has not been fussy much & i am glad! Her molars (back teeth) are coming in one in each side. We went to China town today & she had a blast esp. looking at the fish. Cambria learned about 2 days ago how to take off her diapers so its been fun lol. She would run around..& run away from me when i try to put it back on..she if such like her daddy..even pulling her pj bottoms down her butt!! & she knows its funny because she goes on her laughing rampage.

My 2nd dose of chemotherapy is tomorrow..i'll be admitted again for about 2 days & they are going to access the vap(port) too..so my arm won't hurt as much...my right arm is actually swollen since 2 weeks ago..Dr.Sene told me the small veins hate the chemo & thats why it gets so inflammed..so thank God for my port!! Tonight..mom& i are going to watch "Up in the air".

with love, BA

legal in all states!

Well my 21st isnt what i intended it to be..since i didnt go all out on my 18 (legal on guam) ..i always wanted to do it big but since i am here...that didnt happen..but nonetheless it was amazing! woke up like 5 in the morning..tks to cambria ( i think she knew it was my bday haha). went to santa monica later that day..about 15 min. drive..the place is beautiful. Next time i go..i'll step into the ocean! Mom & I rode the faris wheel..that was fun & funny bc mom was scared lol! Had dinner at Bubba gump--yum! They even sang & danced for me.. =D

After dinner..the rush kicked in..i went & had a jump at the trapeze..though it hurt my hands holding on to the bar..it was such an adrenaline rush! my heart was pumping so FAST! i even did a ninja move--yo yo..lol

In the end..it was blessed. Thank you everyone who wished me happy bday!

with love, BA

Updates: First chemo treatment started Dec.22, had surgery for the vap(port),everything went smoothly..minimal side effects THANK GOD for that & allowing me to get out of the hospital on Christmas day. Christmas day had lunch/dinner with the family--auntie beng shoda's fam/uncle burno's/&cousin donna's fam.

Cousins Charlie& Michelle, Ben, & Pete came for a two day visit--watched "it's complicated" two thumbs up to that! Went to hollywood & staples center. Had a great time w/ them! & cant wait to do it again--hopefully Ben's bday we will go to disneyland!!

with love, BA

trying this out.

Okay, this is unofficially my first blog. I’ve decided to make this so I can document all my joys,sorrows—basically my life as I know it. I thought of a diary but then I am always on the computer so this is much more convenient for me. Plus, I would like to share if you all..& it’s much easier to tell it once as well as remember telling you since I am all the way here & you are all on Guam. Oh & pls. forgive my grammatical errors –I type with no intentions of looking it over( I feel it’s a lot more easier again & its much more real the first time—don’t you think?)

with love, BA